“Oh God, where are You now?

25 August 2008

New Site: dko3.wordpress.com



18 August 2008

new site: dko3.wordpress.com

Just Thinking

11 August 2008

Less organized, less structured, more me, more honest

Impact English 2008:
I had ac, I had beds, I had hot water (most of the time), I had toilets, but what made it feel like the world was stripped away? What made corporate worship on Sunday at BICF so sweet? What made it feel like I was living in the world where the music faded away?

What wasn’t there was the American culture, my family, my home friends, my computer, my school, my busy work, the bubble I created and stayed in to keep me comfortable. Not bad things in and of itself, but when used to sustain me, when used to keep me going day to day, when it was used to hold me over until the next day where I could do the same exact thing, that is when it was, dare I say, sinful.

My desire is to go back so that I wouldn’t be in the bubble here, but what I fear is that all I will do in a few months is create my own China bubble.

I still haven’t totally adjusted yet back and that is probably because I don’t want to? I don’t know. I want to be exhausted at the end of everyday, I want to be in a group of goal oriented people, I want to go through the struggles of trying to minister to people who don’t want to hear it, I want to be able to be some king of encouragement to those that have not been blessed with what I have been blessed with, I want to speak people who actually want to hear what you are saying and not people who just want to humiliate you and fill their own pride. I want what God wants, but I fear my heart is far from honestly chasing after God’s own heart.

When there is a group that is set on the same goal, when they all have a focus, it’s hard to be distracted. I’m not saying we had a perfect team, or if there is even such a thing, but even with the imperfections noticeable it’s still easier when everyone is focused on the same direction.

Often times I hear things, I read things, I see things and they inspire me, they give me some insight that I may never have seen or clarified a thought that I couldn’t clarify on my own, but then a day later, 20 mins later, 2 mins later I forget what it was. What happened in between that made me forget? Pride. Often times when I receive that insight, clarification I have conditioned myself to convert it to a “What can I tell people about this, how can I teach this to someone, how can I make this sound powerful?” Where is the meditation, where is the self-examination, where is the self application? It is lost amongst the pride, it is lost amongst the busy work I make my brain do when a thought comes into my head. How do I need to remember these things, how do I need to be sanctified constantly, by examining myself and not looking at pleasing man, man will be grow not from non-practiced ideas, but will grow from what is applied, what is truly lived out. I can only go so far if I come with only ideas, but to live a life that is sanctified will naturally edify fellowship.

Psalm 90:12-17, Psalm 91, Isaiah 40:28-31, Jeremiah 9:23-24


I might change sites

4 August 2008

Sorry, still thinking of what to do with this site…


30 July 2008

Not being able to sleep at 3 in the morning makes for some weird adventures, but none the less I thought I’d do something productive (well as productive as blogging could be at 3am).

Reflections on coming back (note: not on China), it has been a weird few days, maybe it’s from the jet-lag, maybe it’s from being exhausted for 2 weeks prior, maybe it’s just me, but I know one thing for sure it has been one hard time adjusting back to life in America. All I really want to do right now is to go back to China and meet up with students and do work and be exhausted again and again and again. I don’t know where I’m going with this, all I just know it’s late and half of my body agrees but the other half doesn’t.

I’ve been thinking (very little) and just thought that I might not continue this blog the same way anymore, it’s just a thought, I might feel like doing the same thing by next week, but so far I think I will change how I will blog and what I will blog, nothing specific so far.

Realizations in China:
God is control 100% of the time – He does not let you have 5% or even 1% but gives 0% to His control

As God is everywhere, Satan is nearly everywhere as well, ready to tempt when you’re off-guard

America is in a bubble of sin that it has convinced itself it is fine living in, and has convinced many good intentioned Christians

The body members must always look to the head first and then should then look to the members to see how the task can be done, without looking at the head first, the task is off focus, without looking at the members the task will be done inefficiently

We must be in a pursuit to find God’s clear purpose for us, not some generalization that will not go far in the real world

probably more but I can’t think of them now…


1 July 2008

So for those who don’t know I will leaving for China in a few weeks for a mission trip from LAX and then after I will be flying home to SFO, because I didn’t want to bring my computer to China I have left it at home, so I will be without a computer for about a month. (In case you were wondering I am using the school’s computer right now)

One thing I’ve learned is that I have conditioned my heart to be sustained by this world. I have wasted more time than I have ever thought, talk to me if you want to full story, no it’s not that interesting if that’s what you were thinking, I just don’t have time to spend on the computer here.

"Abba! Father!"

23 June 2008

When to Leave Your Church (Pulpit)

John Piper is Not an Innovator (Desiring God)

Keeping Your Mind Fresh During the Summer (Going to Seminary)

Why It Matters That God Does Everything for His Own Glory (Desiring God)

Four Non-Negotiables (Boundless) Not what you think it probably is about (hint: not about the Gospel)

Tozer’s Contradiction and His Approach to Piety (Between Two Worlds)

Always Respond to Every Impulse to Pray (Irish Calvinist) I might have put this quote up before but I forgot and it is good enough to be put up again

But Spiritual Discernment is Wholly Lost Until we are Regenerated (Monergism) excerpt from Calvin’s Institutes

The Apotheosis of the Study Bible (Reformation 21)

From what I have seen so far, I believe it will be the world’s best complete single-volume resource for reading, studying, and teaching the Bible.

-Phil Ryken

Crossway Book Report (Between Two Worlds)

Resolved 2008 Conference Audio (Resolved)

Mark 15:33-39
And when the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” And some of the bystanders hearing it said, “Behold, he is calling Elijah.” And someone ran and filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink, saying, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to take him down.” And Jesus uttered a loud cry and breathed his last. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, “Truly this man was the Son of God!”

Galatians 4:1-7
I mean that the heir, as long as he is a child, is no different from a slave, though he is the owner of everything, but he is under guardians and managers until the date set by his father. In the same way we also, when we were children, were enslaved to the elementary principles of the world. But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

If you want to hear these verses preached magnificently, listen to the two C.J. Mahaney sessions at this year’s Resolved.

In essence, Christ traded hands with us. He screamed “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” so that we could cry, “Abba! Father!” He was crushed, He had the wrath of God wrought down upon Him, so that we could be sons, so that we could be heirs. We didn’t have anything in our hands that anyone would want, we didn’t have any incentive that would encourage someone to take our hands, if we put our hands down and left them alone, no one would pick it up and take it, we didn’t even ask Christ to take our hands, if we would have it our way we would keep our sinful hands forever, but Christ said, “I am taking your hand, here is mine!”